“How do you do language?”
Toni Morrison, the Nobel-winning novelist, asked that question, suggesting that how we use and interact with language reflects the quality and depth of our lives. Language has the power to shape our identities and experiences. “Therefore, we need to be hyper-aware of how we use our words and take responsibility for the impact they have,” public speaking coach and veteran public relations executive Rosemary Ravinal notes in this new column.
By Rosemary Ravinal
Conscious communication is an integral component of leadership and starts with self-awareness and understanding of the effect your words have on others. Are you confident and intentional when you speak in public, or are you trapped in self-doubt and fear of embarrassment? Are you present and focused on stage, or do you tune out from the audience before you?
A senior-level insurance executive I coached for her first industry keynote called me excitedly after she walked off the stage to tell me how she did. “I think they liked it because they applauded cheerfully. But I was so nervous that I don’t remember much else.”
Zoning out while giving a talk is not uncommon. You could become so engrossed in your thoughts that you forget why you chose to communicate in the first place. Self-aware people are conscious of the impact they have on others. Speaking honestly and with lasting value to the listener requires a high degree of self-awareness. If you aren’t self-aware, you may end up operating on automatic or consumed by inner narratives and judgments about your performance. The more aligned you are with the needs and wants of your audience, the more you’ll transform their thinking, persuade, and move them to action.
Whether you’re speaking one-to-one, to a conference room of 10 people, or to an auditorium of 1000, you owe it to your audience and to yourself to be fully conscious. You could be doing a pitch, an informal talk, or a luncheon address. In any setting, you can’t afford to be on autopilot when you speak, or you’ll undermine the very purpose of your talk. When you’re fully present, you can harmonize with your audience to ensure your message resonates.
Here are some reasons why heightened self-awareness can be the hidden key to exceptional public speaking and leadership overall.
Understand your strengths and weaknesses.
According to legend, “know thyself” was carved into stone at the entrance to Apollo’s temple in Delphi, Greece, 2,000 years ago. Influenced by this, Socrates famously said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”
Experienced speakers are self-aware and conscious of their abilities and limitations. That knowledge is the foundation for rapport and connection. For example, if you have a sharp sense of humor and tell good stories to match, use them appropriately. If you’re inexperienced speaking without notes, use index cards with bullet points to help you remember.
What are the gifts of ideas and inspiration you bring to your audience? How are you putting your natural talents and acquired skills as a communicator into service?
Convey authenticity and credibility.
Audiences are quick to detect when you’re not being genuine. A self-aware speaker understands their own values, beliefs, and personality and can convey their message with authority and credibility. Authenticity builds trust. People are more likely to listen and respond positively to someone they perceive as honest and real.
Demonstrate emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness goes hand-in-hand with emotional intelligence. A presenter who is in touch with their own feelings can take the emotional temperature of the room better. This skill allows them to navigate sensitive subjects with empathy and to adjust their communication style to suit the emotional tone of the room and connect with their audience on a deeper level.
Adapt to feedback.
Constructive feedback is invaluable for personal and professional growth. Self-aware individuals are open and receptive to audience reactions—both good and bad—and use it to improve their content and performance. They understand that some presentations may be better received than others, that some pitches may land well, and that others may flop. In the ups and downs, they find room for growth. By embracing critique as a positive force, you can refine your message and delivery and become more effective with each presentation.
Let Rosemary Ravinal help you ace your next speech, presentation, or media interview. Office hours with Rosemary are available this month. “I will work with your natural abilities to boost your confidence and credibility in English and Spanish in person and online,” she says. Schedule a quick call with Rosemary and get started.
