In Pursuit of Equanimity: A Holiday Message

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“Equanimity is my word for 2025,” says public speaking coach Rosemary Ravinal. “It means calmness, collectedness and evenness of mind especially under stress. This is an ideal state for any speaker.”
It’s the state Ravinal, a public relations executive for many years, is choosing for herself as she sets goals for the coming year. “The path I will follow is silence and stillness,” she says in this column.

 


By Rosemary Ravinal

Silence may feel like a luxury rather than a necessity in a world that never stops moving. Our lives are filled with noise—literal and metaphorical—from the hum of traffic to the constant ping of notifications. When speaking formally or casually, most people are inclined to fill silence spaces with filler words and sounds. Experienced public speakers know that intentional pauses are as important as what they say.

Though its value is often overlooked, silence holds the key to equanimity, the elusive state of mental calmness, composure, and emotional control even in difficult situations. By embracing silence, we can cultivate a deeper connection with ourselves, foster mental and emotional resilience, and find peace in a turbulent world.

One of the most courageous statements I’ve heard about silence came from actress, screenwriter, director, and producer Michaela Coel in her EMMY acceptance speech. She said, “Do not be afraid to disappear, from it [from fame], from us, for a while and see what comes to you in the silence.”

After a year of tumultuous public debates and a disappointing national election, many of my clients, friends, collaborators, and family will benefit from mindful presence and contemplation, what Buddhists call “the sacred pause.” 

A quote attributed to author Viktor Frankl states: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”

If you understand that it takes a mere 90 seconds for a thought in response to something someone said or did to you to catalyze into a strong emotion, you’ll appreciate the importance of creating that space of silence.

The Science of Silence

Research shows that silence is more than just the absence of sound; it has profound physiological and psychological benefits. It lowers cortisol levels and heart rate, allows the body to rest and repair, and stimulates brain growth. Silence creates room for the mind to process experiences, gain clarity, and recover from overstimulation, all crucial for achieving equanimity and facing challenges with calm and balance.

Silence in Relationships

Silence is a powerful tool for fostering connection and understanding in conversations. By pausing to listen deeply, we create space for others to express themselves fully. When faced with anger or provocation, choosing silence over immediate reaction allows you to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully. This restraint is a hallmark of equanimity, demonstrating strength and composure in the face of emotional triggers.

Cultivate Silence in a Noisy World

Even small spaces of silence can be meaningful. Here are a few practical ways to embrace silence:

1. Morning Quiet Time: Start your day with a few minutes of silence to set a calm and intentional tone.

2. Digital Detox: Designate specific times to unplug from devices and enjoy the quiet.

3. Nature Walks: Spend time in natural settings, where the silence of the environment can soothe the mind.

4. Mindful Breathing: Practice focusing on your breath in silence to anchor yourself in the present moment.

5. Silent Retreats: Consider attending a retreat dedicated to silence and mindfulness for a deeper immersion.

In a society that often equates busyness with productivity and noise and chatter with importance, choosing to say nothing at all can feel radical. Silence is not an escape from the world but a way to tap into equanimity and meet life’s experiences with an open and balanced heart.

In the words of Rumi, “Silence is the language of God; all else is poor translation.”

As you bring 2024 to a close and set your goals for the coming year, unlock your path to equanimity and discover a wellspring of inner peace.

 

 


Contact Rosemary Ravinal for details on public speaking training programs or one-on-one coaching services in any of the following areas, in both English and Spanish:

  • Public Speaking
  • Media Readiness
  • Presentation Skills

[email protected]