Emily Maynard’s got her top 3 picked out already in Prague

The one and only time I was in Prague was after college on a 6 week summer backpacking trip through Europe with my friend Erika.  By the time we got to Prague, we were approaching the middle of week 5 and we were exhausted, all the churches started to look the same and the thought of going into one more museum made us restless.   To make things more challenging, it was a balmy 103 degrees and the cheap flat we got arm wrestled into taking smelled like cats, made me sneeze and its only bed was made up with plastic sheets.   We hadn’t even finished our first meal there when I realized that my credit card had been stolen.  The good news is that after 24 hours of melting and sneezing, Erika and I decided to “splurge” on a 3 star hotel with real air conditioning!  I liked Prague a lot better after that.

It’s still a bit confusing to me as to why Emily is staying in separate quarters from her men.  Did the hotel not have enough rooms?  Did they not plan the trip far enough in advance?  Seems a bit odd that Emily would feel safe walking by herself, in the dark, back to her hotel after a date.  Would nobody walk with her?  Could the camera people not just tell Sean where she was?  A lot of this stuff is feeling a bit scripted.

So let’s break down the big Arie scandal which was not scandalous at all.  Was Arie wrong not to tell Emily from the start what was going on?  I agree with Emily that it’s kind of strange nobody said something to her – and it probably wouldn’t have been a big deal at all if they mentioned that they knew each other in the beginning of the process.  I’m not sure if it’s because there’s absolutely n0 drama left on the show or what, but it seems that this was carried out a bit far.  When Emily was sitting with Arie and talking to him about honesty and trust and blah blah blah, why didn’t she just straight out ask him?  She likes to torture this guy.  On the other hand, I think we’re missing a key piece of the puzzle by not being able to see the 3 way conversation that took place between Emily, Arie and Cassie Lambert.  Because the Emily who was sitting with Arie being skeptical at their lunch date and the Emily who was expressing her confusion about Arie to Cassie is a different Emily than the one who was smitten with him late that night.  What did he say to her?

Emily went from being annoyed that she knew this “secret” about him to not being able to get the smile off her face.  Arie’s no fool – he went in for the kill, saying that he is in love with her.  WOAH!!  Throwing all his cards on the table this early – bold! I loved that Emily was walking around Prague in her cowboy boots and tour guide book.  She kept throwing out random facts about Prague the entire episode and I asked The Husband – are the producers feeding her those lines or did she just memorize Lonely Planet?

A couple of my favorite Emily lines this episode, “I like to kiss Arie.  I think I let him know that a lot, by letting him kiss me a lot.”

On telling Arie to rub the dog that represents loyalty, “You should do it twice.”

Bizarre Land:

So here’s where it gets strange.  Chris comes out of nowhere and starts off with, “Hi. I’m Chris Harrison…” and launches into a complete side show like he’s a game host of “What the hell is going on with Arie?”  This Chris H segment just seemed really disjointed and oddly placed.  Like where did he come from and does he really need to narrate the scandal?  They really must be running out of things for him to do.  That said, I think I agree with Arie on this one.  In the real world, yes, you kind of want to know if someone you’re getting serious with has ever dated a good friend.  And yes, it would be nice to know that information up front.  But this isn’t the real world.  This is Bachelorette la la land.   It was obviously not even a thought in Arie’s mind and Emily should have just come out and asked him about it instead of letting it fester.   Of course later on, we see it in her face that she’s totally forgiven him, particularly where she says that she has to start planning her outfit to meet his family.

Watching Arie and Emily together is pretty magical.  I get giddy with my laptop and smile ear to ear.  The Husband thinks I’m nuts.  When he throws out the “I love you,” we know that he’s #1 – at least at that very second.  Who else could compare?  But in typical magical Bachelorette world fashion, we know things can change in an instant.

Wolf got the shaft.  Not only did he have to come off Emily’s incredible date with Arie, but then Chris gave Emily the hard sell on why he’s not really whiny and kind of annoying and pouty which wins her over.  I think standard break up protocol as Bachelorette includes the line, “The other relationships were just moving at a faster pace than ours and we’re not where we needed to be at this point in the process…”  In other words, she’s just not that into you.  Really, it was as soon as Wolf couldn’t shut the “love lock” on their date that we knew it was over between them.  Even his, “I’m not a starter, I’m a closer,” line couldn’t get us excited too much.  Just didn’t really see anything between these two.

Sean running around the streets of Prague screaming, “Emily!!” was absolutely ridiculous.  Particularly when he finds her by herself, walking home, in the dark in a strange country.  I’ve talked about this before, but how are we supposed to believe this was actually allowed to happen?  They’re going to risk letting the star of their show get mugged or killed on her way home from a date?  I don’t think so.  The Husband calls this bit, “So cheesy, it’s offensive.”   But then we get slow tongue kissing against a wall and we’re supposed to understand that Sean is a force to be reckoned with.

How awkward to take a horse drawn carriage with 3 dudes and one lady – all while it’s pouring and needing umbrellas.  As The Husband so kindly put it, “I hope one of them gets kicked by the horse.”  I cringed for Doug during this date.  From his toast of thanking Emily to being a gracious hostess, to his inability to show Emily any affection, the poor guy can’t even sit next to Emily without offending her.  But then he went in for the kiss and I nearly gasped because I think everyone in the world realized she was sending him home, except for Doug.  Poor guy was probably so proud of himself for an instant in having the guts to go in for a kiss, but it was so poorly timed and misread.  I feel bad for Doug.  That said, I was grateful to Emily that she didn’t make him sweat out another rose ceremony.  Even his exit was awkward, “Have a good one,” he says.   Doug said it best – his girl radar is totally broken.  Interestingly enough, she ended up sending home the 2 guys she was unsure of about last week.

Emily’s white swan dress outfit on the group date was very ethereal.   She is completely smitten with Sean after their previous night’s romp in the street and probably wants to lock Chris in one of the castle’s dungeons so she can continue her Sean kissing.  I loved that Emily discusses how critical the group date rose was in front of both the guys and then gives it Sean.  You can see the virtual daggers going into Chris’s heart.

I mentioned in my previous post how much I loved the Jef date.  They seem like they really enjoy each other’s company.  This is the first time I’ve seen such great chemistry between them, particularly while just lying down on the floor of a library.  Turns out (thanks to my readers for keeping me informed) that Jef’s parents are not in prison – they are Mormon and on a religious mission.  It sounded like he had multiple brothers and sisters, so hopefully we’ll get to meet them and see if their hair does similar tricks like Jef’s.  Lying on the floor, talking about their future kids, Jef doles out probably the best line of the season, “I want to date you so hard and marry the f!!! out of you.”  WHAT??? Where did this come from?  He is actually quite funny!  But as a number of you have commented, I’m not sure that Emily would pick up and move to Utah with her daughter.  Saying she’s willing to move and actually moving are two different things.

Chris is an emotional train wreck right now and unless he starts to pull himself together, the drama for the remainder of the season (or at least until Chris gets the boot which is probably next week) will be him freaking out.  When Emily does finally give him the rose and Emily walks Wolf out, Chris goes around hugging the other guys.  Why are they hugging him?  Because he’s still a competitor to make out with their future wife?  Such an odd concept!

Top 3, without question, are Arie, Jef and Sean.  I thought Arie had the lead until I saw her with Sean and Jef.  I might dare say that after Prague, Jef might have a slight edge.  There’s something about him that Emily loves to pieces.  All Jef needs to do is throw HER up against a wall of his parents’ house and the rest might be history. [Update: I originally wrote that Jef would need to throw up against the wall of his parents’ house – which would definitely make an impression, but probably not the one Emily is looking for]

What did you all think?  Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.  You can always find me on Twitter at @OfficeStace and don’t forget to “Bookmark” OfficeStace.com so you can quickly find all of my Bachelorette blog posts and news as well as my other writing.