Emily Maynard searches for tall, skinny and not condescending as The Bachelorette

By on Jun, 2 2012 with Comments 3

So it turns out Alessandro (who so eloquently told Emily that ending up with her and Ricki would be a “compromise,”) was an even worse match for Emily than we got to see.  Some of you commented on my last post that Emily was wearing Uggs or strange boots under her beautiful gold rose ceremony dress.  Emily stated in her blog that Alessandro revealed himself as a “Vampire Detector,” and was convinced that there was a vampire in the house.  He had Emily join him in the woods before the rose ceremony (hence the combat boots she was wearing) where he had hung crosses from every limb on every tree.  This was some sort of “psychic refuge,” as Chris Harrison describes in his blog which Alessandro built up in his free time.  Forget dating his third cousin, having one night stands or admitting to cheating.  Who on earth would ever want someone like this around their child?  Not Emily! Thank goodness she gave him the boot.  He was definitely not for her.

Now that we’ve resolved the Alessandro / why is Emily wearing boots under her gown question, can we talk about Ryan and how disappointed I am in him?  He started off so strong last week, but then spiraled downhill with his 7 page letter.  This week it was crash and burn with him interrupting her girl talk with the ladies only to reveal (in front of them!) that if Emily starts gaining weight, he’d still love her, but wouldn’t love “on her” as much.  WTF?  Who says stuff like that?  Especially with an audience?  Way to stick your entire leg in your mouth, Ryan. Maybe he was kidding.  Maybe it came out wrong. Either way, our sweet Southern charmer has done a 180 and Emily is right to worry that she may only be a “trophy wife” to him. Perhaps The Husband should start calling him “Thick Head Ryan” instead of “Thick Neck Ryan.”  He is so out of my top 5 after his antics this week.  Sounds like this is only getting worse and you could almost see the steam coming out of his head when he accidentally oversaw Emily smooching Arie at the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party.  Emily is so head over heels for the race car driver – I think there were actual lightning bolts between them going off.  Interesting that we never saw any of their time together on the way to Dollywood as Emily said in her blog that Arie made her laugh so hard, her stomach hurt.

Some major questions from this past week’s show:

1) Why does Emily look drop dead gorgeous in the morning and does her mother live with her?  Or is she always there that early to serve her daughter breakfast in bed on a tray?  Three generation of blonde ladies in that house, but her mom’s deep voice kind of threw me off at first.

2) Hair model Michael went from glossy, shiny all down hair in the opening night to pony tail delight in week two to half up, half down this past week.  Do any of you have a favorite?  I’d like to see him do a French braid or perhaps a French twist.

3) Did you know that Emily thought Chris (climb a building to eat dinner) looked like Gerard Butler?? Yes, that was her first impression of him which led to her thinking he was quite handsome.

4) Was that real lightning and thunder which appeared while Emily and Chris were climbing the building? The Husband thinks it was super-imposed or CGI (computer generated imagery). Wouldn’t they have immediately pulled them off the wall in a situation like that? I’d think it would be the equivalent of getting swimmers out of a pool when you hear thunder or lightning.  Nobody seemed very concerned other than Emily.

5) How adorable was Luke Bryan of the Luke Bryan country band?? Is he single? And if so, how can we get him into Emily’s pool of men?

6) Did anyone else wonder whether Tony (dad who got emotional over missing his son) actually understood that Emily was sending him home during their little chit chat?  She did it in such a subtle way, that all he could do was thank her.  Poor guy – I really felt for him. Actually, was impressed that Doug was trying to talk him off the ledge, but in the end, Emily was kind enough to let Tony know that she’s probably going to choose Arie, Sean, Doug, Jef, Charlie or Chris over him.

7)  Did you think that just for a split second that Emily was sending Arie home during their dinner?  I thought I had completely missed something because she was hesitating in giving him the rose on their date at first. Then she started with this speech and I thought maybe he had said something wrong like him being on the road alot, or that she didn’t think he was ready to be a dad, and I was actually finding myself getting nervous.  But no, she was just messing with him (and millions of viewers!).  Thank goodness!  Arie is the real deal!  Though I don’t like all this rumor talk about his background (NOT TO DISCUSS HERE – NO SPOILERS PLEASE!) and I hope he doesn’t end up breaking our hearts. The best was the look on his face when he thought he was going home. He just kind of nodded, like he expected the unexpected.  Then when she told him it was all a joke, his face went bright red.  She said, “Now I know, I think you might kind of like me…” Wow, Emily is a shark!

8) What is the deal with these guys being nervous to kiss Emily?  They are either really nervous around her or don’t want to disrespect her.  Chris asked permission to kiss her at the end of the country music song. And that’s when she obviously wanted him to kiss her a bunch of times before then. Arie only gave her a kiss on the cheek at first when she gave him the rose on their date. And that was AFTER dancing to a love song written for them by Dolly Parton.  Come on- the girl wants to be kissed! We’re going to have to start playing The Little Mermaid’s, “Kiss the Girl,” from now on.  Of course Arie’s first kiss with Emily on the carousel seemed to have made up for lost time. You could just feel the passion oozing out from them.  And Emily said in her blog that he’s a great kisser (sure looked like it!). He has the whole – play with the back of her neck with a hand move while kissing her.

9) Did anyone else want to see more interactions between the guys and the children?  I wanted to hear their conversations and see what they talked about.  Who were these kids? Were they paid to go hang out with the guys?  Were their parents ok with them wandering around with a bunch of inexperienced childcare givers?

10) Now that we’ve gotten rid of Shelly the ostrich egg, can we just get rid of Travis too? They have nothing else to talk about and I really don’t see him as being “the one” for Emily.

My favorite moments from this past week’s show:

There were quite a few, but here were my favorite takeaways and why:

  • · Emily’s day outfits. She’s casual, but cute. I like that she wasn’t trying too hard with over the top dresses and heels. She was wearing tank tops and shorts and her trademark cowboy boots.  In other words, she’s dressing like any other woman going on a day date with these guys.  Her golden dress with her golden hair at the rose ceremony party were very pretty, though she did look like a Golden Globe award- but a very beautiful one.  BTW, I loved her green and white striped shirt so much, that I bought a similar one. Total impulse buy and yes, I have buyer’s remorse, but it was $100 less than the actual one she was wearing. I know, still doesn’t justify it, but hopefully it’s cute and I’ll wear it on all my dates with The Husband. I also loved her side braid on this park date and so wish I could pull that off.
  • · As the guys are taken by Emily to approach her friends in the park, one of them says, “Are we getting manicures?”  We went back to try to figure out who said this, because it cracked us both up, but didn’t have any luck.
  • · Another awesome group date. I LOVED that Emily’s best friends got to meet the guys and grill them.  This is another more realistic moment that will be important once the show ends.  Will the guys get along with her friends? And how awesome that they treated the guys like pieces of meat? Just how the women get treated on The Bachelor.  This was certainly entertaining.  Wendy had some of the best one-liners from the episode including, “Here comes Jersey!” when Stevie approached.  ”Sean is a genetic gift to the world” and when it was all over she says to the other ladies, “Let’s go home to our boring mom lives.”
  • · What I love about Emily is how quickly she picks up on the red flags that her guys are exhibiting. It’s refreshing and relieving.  For example, did you pick up how quickly her radar grasped the fact that Chris is only 25?  She immediately indicated her concern about his age.  Yes, she has kept him around, but it’s now something we know she’s thinking about.  Also, she was not amused about Ryan’s comment (loved that Wendy said to her, “Can’t get fat on that one,” after he walked away).  The Alessandro interaction was just bizarre and I loved that she didn’t even want to wait until the rose ceremony to get rid of him.  He was out of there! The Kalon conversation was a little more subtle, but she picked right up on his obnoxiousness. Perhaps it was the fact that he wasn’t wearing socks with his brown boat shoes or whatever those things were with his dark suit and his sudden glasses, like he’s been reading Moby Dick in his library all evening.  But she saw right past his attempt to sweeten the blow, “I love it when you talk, but I wish you’d let me finish…” Ewwwwww.
  • · The Dolly Parton interaction was pretty awesome, especially because you get an immediate sense of how much Emily worships the woman.  I loved her songs, her advice for Emily and her request that Arie “make himself scarce,” while she had some girl talk with Em. Emily’s reaction was, “It’s crazy that Dolly Parton knows that I exist on this planet.”  Hysterical. Yes, I thought Emily might ask Dolly to join the mix of guys as Emily certainly overwhelmed by her admiration for the lady, but once she started thumbing Arie’s shoulder while they were slow dancing, they seemed to have chemistry (Emily and Arie, not Emily and Dolly) like nobody else.
  • · I wasn’t sure about whether Arie would be ready for Emily and her world, but once we got to hear his back story, I practically stood up and applauded.  How perfect! A guy who really saw first hand what it’s like to be a dad (through living with a single mom and her kids). With the reason of their break up being because he wanted more kids and she didn’t. Ahhh – could this be more perfect for Emily?  And the fact that she’s actually quite ok with him being on the road for his race car driving career – wow, that sounds quite compatible as well. Though what about her lonely post 7:30 PM nights?  Will she still feel alone with someone that’s traveling so often? And I’d think that a hottie on the road like Arie will have numerous temptations (especially now that he’ll be known for his time on The Bachelorette).  Emily certainly needs to be able to trust him.
  • · Arie reminds Emily of Ricki’s dad. BINGO.  I think we all had this lightning bolt moment of “Could Arie really be the ONE?” We’ve got high hopes for this one, I really hope he doesn’t let us down.  I like that he comforted Emily’s bad experience with Alessandro by telling her to remember their date and then kissing her with the other guys nearby. Bold move, Arie!  That’s certainly going to ruffle feathers, but we’re ready for it.
  • · Sean.  Where has this guy been all our lives?  He is a close contender to Arie.  Seems to have her religious values that are important to her.  The body of a chiseled Greek god. A great role model as a father. And the right words for Emily at exactly the right time, “(Ricki) would be my daughter.”  I hope he can put his money where his mouth is because he seems extremely confident and mature, yet in a non-obnoxious way. He is genuine.  Did you know that Sean is a fitness model besides being an insurance agent? This kind of makes me roll my eyes a little, as do we really want another model on our hands? I guess those abs can’t really be ignored.

WTF (What the Fudge) moments:

  • Did anyone else find it strange that Emily and Chris are having a very romantic dinner on rooftop building with a lightning / thunderstorm going on?
  • Is Emily weeding out everybody little or skinny? I guess that means Jef would be gone too, as she doesn’t seem to like scrawny.  She likes the Brad Womack mold.
  • Chris thinking he’s experienced a lot because he left home at 17 to go to school. Um, is this that unusual? Yes, most people are 18 when they leave for college, but I’d venture to say there are a hell of a lot of people who are 17. And I wouldn’t necessarily say that going to college means that you’re ready to be a dad.  And at age 25, you’ve got a lot more living to do before making a big decision of settling down to become an insta-dad. Hmmmm.
  • John “Wolf” tells Emily’s friends that his girlfriend told him to be on the show.  Um, what??? Was that a slip? Yes, he claims that it was a female friend and not a girlfriend, but what guy refers to his female friends as “girlfriends?” Only girls say that about other girls.
  • After Doug reveals his tragic backstory, Emily tells Doug that he has a lot to be angry about but is shocked because he is “the least angry person (she) knows.”  Really? She can tell this after two weeks with him?  Doug has very large pupils, and it kind of freaks me out at times. Hearing his unusual background makes me worried about the kind of person he is in a relationship. We need to hear more about how things ended with him and his son’s mother.  Yet, I agree with some of the readers who commented that you can’t immediately judge Doug to have to much baggage and rule him out.  Yes, Emily does have her own fair share of baggage and people are really what they make of themselves after a tragedy.  We’ve all got baggage. I guess it’s whether you choose to check the luggage or carry it around with you that makes the difference. Doug still seems very sincere and like a potential great match for Emily, so I still think he’s a good contender here.
  • Did anyone else think it was kind of strange at the end of the Arie date when they show the two of them kissing with the image of the carousel spinning behind their heads? What the hell was that all about?

Buh-bye to Stevie. I’ll kind of miss his antics and his Jersey style.

So we’re off to Bermuda next week which is surprisingly very easy to get to from North Carolina (less than a 2 hour flight).  Can’t wait to see where they go / stay. I think Jef may get his chance for some alone time along with Sean. Hmmmmm. Alright, looking forward to all of your thoughts.

My top 5 to date:

5. Jef / Charlie (Need to know more, but they seem promising)

4. Chris (I think he reminds me of David Good (Man Code) in looks for some reason. He might be higher on the list if he wasn’t 25.)

3. Doug (Especially because her friends really liked him)

2. Sean (He got me with the “Ricki would be my daughter” line and impeccable body)

1. Arie (hands down, he’s our guy)

–Stacey Becker, http://bachelorlove.blogspot.com

About The Author: Stacey Becker is a writer disguised as a full time, corporate lawyer at a global financial institution living in New York City. She created and has run her own blog on ABC's reality TV series, The Bachelor / The Bachelorette for the past several years. Stacey was interviewed as an expert blogger by ABC's 20/20 in an on-air TV segment focusing on the phenomenon of the show. She is currently the "Couch Critic" for Radio & TV Business Report for The Bachelor / Bachelorette. A published author since the age of 15, her non-fiction story, “Softball People,” was published in Chicken Soup for the Father’s Soul (2001) and republished in Chicken Soup for the Dad’s and Daughter’s Soul (2008). Her current blog, which can be found at www.OfficeStace.com features all of her Bachelor writing and documents her day to day adventures. Stacey's email is StaceyB@OfficeStace.com and her Twitter handle is: @OfficeStace.

  1. cookiefan Says:

    How can you be rooting for Arie when he and her producer lied to her? Also, Reality Steve reported that he screwed his friend’s girlfriend and her friends too! YUCK! Terrible roll model!
    My money is on Jef!

  2. If Emily doesn’t choose Arie. I think every girl watching the show will be more than happy to take him – no questions asked-HA! He is adorable, boyish, but sexy, sexy and sexy!!!

  3. finally – finally on this show we have a guy who genuinely acts with the guys around – like he acts in front of Emily. She definitely needs to pick Sean – right age, mature, humble, and you can tell he is a real Christian man. He would be a great partner and dad for Emily’s daughter. I hope she does not mess this opportunity up.





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