Emily Maynard Dazzles in The Bachelorette Premiere
I think we’re in store for a great season. There. I said it. First off, we’ve got ourselves a real lady who is as graceful and poised as they come to lead us in the charge. It is unthinkable that this ethereal looking woman in her champagne colored gown could possibly be nervous about being The Bachelorette. Can such a being actually get nervous? Yet, she’s not second guessing herself about being The Bachelorette so far. She’s not worried about whether the guys will like her. She’s worried about whether she’ll actually feel anything for the guys. So far, so good. The self-doubt that plagued Ashley’s season will hopefully not become interwoven into the threads of this season.
Second, I think we might actually be on a conquest for love. Emily wants a husband, father figure and baby daddy. She needs someone to share carpooling duties with and keep her company in her enormous, modern house when Ricki goes to bed at 7:30. And the guys that applied to be on this season knew that they were competing for such a lifestyle. Check the egos at the door, I can’t wait to see them interact with children! I hope they each get assigned four kids and have to babysit them for an afternoon. If they survive and are still willing to be a stepdad, she’s got her winners.
Third, could Emily be our most beautiful Bachelorette ever? Trista was cute. Ali F was pretty. Emily is a goddess. How this woman is still single, I have no idea. My guess is that she has been unable to find someone around the same age as herself who she can relate to. I am in awe of how slim she is with such a large set of ostrich eggs. Yes, I said that too. She’s got a very enviable figure and put that into a sparkly, neutral color gown like the one she had on last night and we’ve got ourselves a real life Bachelorette princess. Barbie could easily make an Emily Bachelorette Princess doll edition. Some people say her teeth are too perfect, too white and possibly too large. Come on, really? They’ll say her hair is too blonde and she wears too much makeup. Well, it’s the South and yes, I did prefer her hair a bit more natural looking like how she had it on the “After the Final Rose” episode with Brad and yes, she does wear a lot of make-up, but you know what? She’s still absolutely stunning and could easily have a modeling career. Plus I’m jealous of her large, organized make-up case in her bathroom where she was getting ready with Ricki. I need something like that, as well as someone to teach me how to do my makeup.
Fourth, don’t let her sweet talkin’ fool you. In some of her side comments and the way she carried herself, Emily is no pushover. She’s got a great head on her shoulders and she knows what she wants. Did you see her drop an F! bomb on one of the contestants in the previews for the season? Emily is like a great warrior / gladiator war hero in the form of a lovely deity. I don’t know many 26 year olds who are driving car pools and chasing their 6 year old around all day, but it seems that Emily is a special type of person that deserves to find someone equally unique.
Fifth and final – Emily’s got a tragic story that makes us immediately want to root for her. We heard about it all throughout Brad’s season, and Emily makes clear from the start that she doesn’t want to focus on that. She’s ready to move forward. Good for her.
Let’s just talk about Brad Womack for a second. Is he watching this season? He must be eating his heart out. We never got a clear explanation as to why things didn’t work out for them (side note: I love how they show Brad saying, “I give you my absolute word,” that it was “forever” for the two of them at their season finale). From interviews with Emily, I think it came down to a lack of trust. That Brad seems to be a lifelong Bachelor type and that she couldn’t trust that their relationship would last long enough to risk a big move to Texas for herself and Ricki. The good news, is that we know Emily is capable of falling in love again post her own Ricky and that the Bachelor process works for her. Please don’t let Brad show up in a helicopter in London or something. He’s had his chance. Twice as Bachelor. Once with Emily. It’s enough.
As for the guys…
Kalon. This guy is already being pegged as the season’s Courtney. He’s kind of good looking, but has that arrogant aura about him. His helicopter arrival was cheesy and I wonder how long they were left waiting for him, since he kept apologizing. Luckily, our Emily doesn’t fall for such gimmicks. It’s kind of an interesting experiment to see how he makes the other guys spin their wheels, though. He oozes obnoxious which is always good for stirring up drama. Why do wealthy people have such dramatic names? First it was Kiptyn. Now it’s Kalon.
Lerone, the Black real estate consultant. Good try, ABC. They did attempt to bring in a minority to the pool and he actually did seem like a decent candidate. But once I saw him jogging with that tiny little lap dog, something seemed off. Because what athletic, good looking African American man goes jogging with a furry little lap dog? None that I know. At least we got to see him do some pull ups. The Husband thought he looked like Keith in Six Feet Under, but I’m not sure about that.
I’ve already discussed Ryan (who I love), Arie (who I also love) and Charlie (who I still love) in my last post. These guys will easily make it past the next couple of rounds. I’ll also mention that as soon as I saw that Ryan works with kids for a living, I instantly thought he could be our guy. Plus, I loved his puppy golden doodle or retriever or whatever that thing was.
Most awful entrances:
Jackson, 29 the fitness model. “Life’s not measured by the number of breaths we take…” blah blah blah. So glad she sent this guy home. Who starts an introduction with a quote? What was she supposed to do in response to this? And the fact that he stripped down to show his chest after getting rejected just proves that Emily made the right decision with him. He was there to flaunt his abs, not to become a husband/father.
Joe – the guy who just started screaming “Emmmmily!!” from outside the limo. Lots of energy from this guy, but I found him irritating.
Grandma guy. It would have been better if after taking off the costume he was this unbelievably handsome dude, but all I kept seeing was a grandmother in his face. Bold move, but kind of strange. Why can’t these people just come as themselves? Emily’s smart enough to appreciate that!
Travis with the Ostrich egg. Really? An ostrich egg? Poor Travis was trying to be quirky and romantic with the egg thing, but because he was profusely sweating and had spiky hair, it came off a little strange.
Michael, Abercrombie looking model, long hair guy. Have you ever seen a more beautiful a mane than Michael’s, the 26 year old rehab counselor? I just wanted to run my fingers through it and ask him what kind of shampoo he uses. He was going for a prettier form of Riggins on Friday Night Lights. If this guy is intelligent and doesn’t have ambitions of being a hair model, then he could be interesting. But this is very unlikely.
Last, but not least. Cheesy Stevie! Dancing up to Emily with his boombox and cheesy smile, I was kind of cringing for this guy. He grossed me out. Maybe it was the 80s vibe or the bright kelly green dress shirt he was wearing. Emily dug it though, cause he’s sticking around another week.
What I liked:
• Doug asking about Ricki – I think he was one of the only guys who immediately asked for Ricki. Note: Sign of maturity. He realizes Ricki is part of the package, so why not dive right in?
• Emily mentioning to a couple of the guys that they smell good. I don’t think we’ve ever given “smell” enough credit on this show. Jef is one of the guys she makes that comment to. He looks like he’d have good cologne on. Was he really born “Jef” or is that his stage name? Nate was another one who Emily liked the smell of, and Emily remarked that he was, “So cute.” Hmmm. Good smelling = going far??
• I kept finding myself singing Lady Gaga’s song, “Alejandro,” every time either Alessandro or Alejandro came into view. Emily’s attempt to speak Spanish was kind of cute, though I was surprised she kept the Alejandro guy around (long rat tail hair thing). The other one looks like a younger, stockier Jack Wagner.
• Emily’s response to Tony who brings her a glass slipper, “I believe in love and fabulous shoes.” Funny!
• I couldn’t help and scream, “Oww-wooooooooooooooo” when John “Wolfe” got out of the limo. He’s kind of cute this Wolfe guy. I hope that Wolfe is his last name, cause otherwise, not sure Emily needs to get involved with a Twilight character.
• Emily admitting that Arie would be “hot in a racecar..”
• The fact that Kalon did NOT get the first impression rose. Emily is not to be won over by party tricks. She’s the real deal.
WTF (What the Fudge??) moments:
• Brent saying he has 6 kids. Woah. Can you see 6 kids moving into Emily’s mansion? Very unlikely. This guy is really willing to uproot 6 kids from their lives to bring them to Charlotte? They should have screened this dude out.
• Kalon says, “I would have walked here for you…” instead of taking a helicopter. Wow, such a sacrificer, that one! He is so playing on Emily’s emotions by telling her that he was raised by a single mom. Slick dude.
• Chris the 25 year old stating that he “deserves the first impression rose.” Never understand such ludicrous statements like this.
In case you couldn’t stay up til 11, roses went to:
• Chris (25, thinks he deserves first impression rose)
• Ryan (Southern, cute, tall)
• Kalon (helicopter arrival)
• Arie (race car driver)
• Charlie (fell from a deck, was seriously injured but is seriously cute)
• Jef (with one “f”)
• Nate (smells good)
• Sean (Blonde and Shy)
• Joe (enthusiastic Emily screamer with long hair)
• Alejandro (rat tail)
• Wolfe (Ow-woooooo)
• Alessandro (Brazilian Jack Wagner)
• Michael (the Hair Model)
• Cheesy Stevie (boombox)
• Tony (glass slipper)
• Travis (Ostrich egg)
– Stacey B