I don’t think that I’ll be able to hear the song Sister Christian without thinking of Sarah’s horrendous satin green ’80s pants, Jaclyn’s Catholic school girl skirt slut dance or Ed describing Sarah’s dancing as an electrocuted monkey. This week’s episode felt like one long, horrible American Idol audition segment. Rachel wasn’t half horrible, but it’s not like she had any competition in the pitch department. Who the hell is Nick? This guy is the definition of “slider” – he kept a low profile the entire competition, caused absolutely no controversy and then all of a sudden he’s in the finals??
I felt bad for Blakeley getting the boot, particularly since there is nothing on this show that doesn’t make her cry, but how cute are she and Tony? Rumor has it they have been extremely happy together since the show ended, which makes the whole thing worth it. Blakeley has nothing to be sorry about. She found love and she’s got some of the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen on this show. Double bonus. Triple if you count Tony.
Isn’t Sarah the epitome of a sorority type girl who is just enthusiastic about EVERYTHING? She probably uses the word “super” before every adjective and adverb. It’s sort of aggravating, given how mean Chris was to so many people in the house that he and Sarah have been able to keep winning competitions. You know Sarah has been studying Bachelor Pad seasons for the past 2 years in preparation for this week’s competition.
Let’s discuss Jaclyn’s anger towards Rachel. Is she serious? This is a GAME. They are not “best friends.” Why does everyone who comes on the show think they are best friends with another contestant on the show? It’s mind-blowing. Jaclyn’s venom came out again in the limo and she’s out of her mind. The whole “She’s dead to me” line from Jaclyn just brings me back to my initial opinion that everything that comes out of Jaclyn’s mouth is ugly. If this was a competition for who your best friend is and Rachel chose Sarah, then I can understand Jaclyn’s frustration. Nick was absolutely spot-on by believing that the majority of the ex-contestants would vote for Rachel and Nick over Chris and Sarah. Ed and Jaclyn were just too risky of a choice to bring to the finals. It sounds like Ed and Jaclyn don’t need the money anyway, so they really did just come to party – whereas it sounds like Rachel and Nick are after the money. If you can’t sleep thinking that these two besties will never speak again, worry no longer – they posted on Twitter several weeks ago that Jaclyn, Rachel and Chris went to visit Ed in Chicago for Jaclyn’s 28th birthday. Which I presume happened after this nasty confrontation on this week’s episode. Which means all the anger was either all fake, all forgiven or somewhere in between. Blonde frenemies reunited!
Speaking of the finals, the preview for Monday’s finale looks pretty awesome. I love that Chris Harrison referred to it as the most “disturbing” finale ever. Rachel looked different in the coming attractions – perhaps she had some facial work done? Too bad if she did, because she was beautiful as is. Sounds like Michael dropped her pretty quickly after the show. Maybe the shocking twist is that she ended up hooking up with Nick for real. That would be awesome. Nick and Rachel are engaged. Stags loses the girl AGAIN. Or maybe it’s that Jamie has joined the cast of Aladdin on Broadway, playing Jasmine. How else can she explain that ridiculous hair chain she’ll be sporting next week? I’m looking forward to hearing about how Ed has no interest in Jaclyn in the real world, that Rachel has a new man, that Blakeley and Tony are in love,that Chris dumped Sarah for Donna the bikini girl, that Kalon and Lindzi are living together and that hopefully Roberto Martinez is the new Bachelor.
Though they’ll probably go with Sean from Emily’s season even though he’s too vanilla to carry the Bachelor role. I don’t think they can pick Ryan Lochte and really expect an audience to believe that he’s looking for lasting love. Get excited for Monday!